I hate my job. As in the job scope. There. I said it. There's no way out of it. I really am tired of it. Good pay be damn. I have enough.
Just now case takes the cake. I ended up feeling so shitty that even going to Kinokuniya and Dorothy Perkins (two of my favourite shops) can't cheer me up at all. The journey home has never been that long before. Had a good cry. Feeling much better. What a way to start a holiday weekend since tomorrow is Vesak Day.
How funny life is. Yesterday I was feeling pretty happy and now I crashed back down to earth.
I shouldn't have opened my mouth. I wasn't supposed to do the case but then I dug my own grave and now... *bangs head against wall*
I have two more months to my bond. I am almost at the brink of my sanity and patience. But if I quit this career totally, I absolutely have no idea what to do. Not to mention, whether I can adjust to a pay cut. So many things to think about when you want to quit your job. You have to think about other things just for the sake of your own happiness.
In more happier news, I finally removed my braces. Yey! I ate McDonalds' McSpicy burger and almost cried with joy (of course not XD ) that I can finally chomp on my burger without getting things stuck to the braces and also most importantly, I can finally bite my food properly.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Book!
That reminds me. I haven't been practicing my Kanji for ages. Urgh.
Teeth!
It's been almost two years since I wore my braces. I could have gotten them off last January but the dentist asked me if there were anything that I was not satisfied with my teeth so I told him that the gaps in my lower front teeth were bothering me so he did some shaving off my front teeth and now the two front-most teeth is just refusing to close! I've been seeing him for a couple of times the past two months and he did some stuff to my teeth but there's always a gap in the two front-most teeth.
The dentist told me that he changed the angle of that bracket or something so that the tooth will move and close the gap. At this stage already, I don't care as long as there is no evident gap seen whenever I open my mouth to talk. Right now, the gap is pretty obvious. Gosh, gigi, close lah dey. I've been seeing the dentist more each month than I meet The Boyfriend (exaggeration, of course). If I have known that the two bottom teeth is being stubborn about this, I should have just shut my mouth and let the dentist removed my braces. I could be wearing retainers already. It's amazing how when it comes to teeth, a few millimeters translate to whether your teeth will look nice or not and that a few millimeters is like a journey of a lifetime for the teeth.
The dentist told me that he changed the angle of that bracket or something so that the tooth will move and close the gap. At this stage already, I don't care as long as there is no evident gap seen whenever I open my mouth to talk. Right now, the gap is pretty obvious. Gosh, gigi, close lah dey. I've been seeing the dentist more each month than I meet The Boyfriend (exaggeration, of course). If I have known that the two bottom teeth is being stubborn about this, I should have just shut my mouth and let the dentist removed my braces. I could be wearing retainers already. It's amazing how when it comes to teeth, a few millimeters translate to whether your teeth will look nice or not and that a few millimeters is like a journey of a lifetime for the teeth.
Rashes!
So I told you now I'm having rashes on my body. Well here there are, the three clusters on my body.
1) Upper torso area
2) Left shoulder
3) Left leg (Seems like my poor left leg is getting the most brunt of this maladies)
Funny thing is that both me and my colleague got it. So it's either we got it through what we ate (maybe it's the iced Milo from the shop across the road) or through patient contact. I just hope this won't spread. I'm telling you, it's like I'm having malady after malady this March.
1) Upper torso area
2) Left shoulder
3) Left leg (Seems like my poor left leg is getting the most brunt of this maladies)
Funny thing is that both me and my colleague got it. So it's either we got it through what we ate (maybe it's the iced Milo from the shop across the road) or through patient contact. I just hope this won't spread. I'm telling you, it's like I'm having malady after malady this March.
Friday, March 9, 2012
What a Friday
Seriously, all these bugs love me or I really have to spray myself with insect repellant or something. My ankle is still on the road to recovery, my lips have gone down to its normal size but I got bitten by bugs again. I think this time round, the bugs are from my bed. Damn. I gotta do some debugging today. Haha never thought I'm using that term for other things beside my computer.
In other news, I wore my shirt inside out today. This is the second time that it happened to me. My gosh. I really need to check myself in the mirror before I go out of the house. I only realised it when I reached the platform of Kranji MRT because I noticed this girl that always take the same bus as me was looking at me. So I had no choice but to go to the toilet and changed the orientation of my clothes. By that time, because of this and that, I was already running late so I have to take the cab to the CBD area. Cost me 36 bucks. The roads in Singapore are getting bad to worse. Actually, everything about Singapore is getting bad to worse. Sigh. Oh, the cab driver was asking me why I don't want to migrate to another country because of my profession which is recognised in places such UK or Australia. I told him I have family commitments. He told me, "Once you reach your 30s and 40s, you realised that you should have gone overseas when you were younger. Then you'll live to regret it." Sigh...as much as I want to migrate, I need to chalk up more skills and experiences not to mention I really have family commitments to think about as well. Talk is cheap really.
In other news, I wore my shirt inside out today. This is the second time that it happened to me. My gosh. I really need to check myself in the mirror before I go out of the house. I only realised it when I reached the platform of Kranji MRT because I noticed this girl that always take the same bus as me was looking at me. So I had no choice but to go to the toilet and changed the orientation of my clothes. By that time, because of this and that, I was already running late so I have to take the cab to the CBD area. Cost me 36 bucks. The roads in Singapore are getting bad to worse. Actually, everything about Singapore is getting bad to worse. Sigh. Oh, the cab driver was asking me why I don't want to migrate to another country because of my profession which is recognised in places such UK or Australia. I told him I have family commitments. He told me, "Once you reach your 30s and 40s, you realised that you should have gone overseas when you were younger. Then you'll live to regret it." Sigh...as much as I want to migrate, I need to chalk up more skills and experiences not to mention I really have family commitments to think about as well. Talk is cheap really.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Insects really love me!
Well, what do you know? My foot is getting better judging by this picture
There are still some reddish marks left and it still gives out some twinges of pain but the foot is no longer swollen. I bought Ebene Bio Ray Foot Massage Socks that I wore to sleep at night and also to work yesterday. It helps to reduce the swelling so yay to Ebene!
But now I have another malady; swollen lips caused by ant bite when I was sleeping. Saw those little critters crawling around the plastic bag which contains my medicine that I put beside my bed last night. Swiped them away and I think one or two of them decided to take revenge on me and so, they bit me on my lips.
There are still some reddish marks left and it still gives out some twinges of pain but the foot is no longer swollen. I bought Ebene Bio Ray Foot Massage Socks that I wore to sleep at night and also to work yesterday. It helps to reduce the swelling so yay to Ebene!
But now I have another malady; swollen lips caused by ant bite when I was sleeping. Saw those little critters crawling around the plastic bag which contains my medicine that I put beside my bed last night. Swiped them away and I think one or two of them decided to take revenge on me and so, they bit me on my lips.
FRONT VIEW
SIDE VIEW
What a grosteque apprearance! I really look like those poster girl for 'When Plastic Surgery Went Wrong'! My brother had a good laugh and said that I looked like Donatella Versace! Thanks ah bro...Anyway, I was contemplating whether to go and see the doctor. I thought applying hot and cold compress will do the trick but then the upper lips swelled up like the picture above and knowing that the doctor closes at 12pm every Sunday, I quickly rushed down to see him. He prescribe an antihistamine, Chlorpheniramine and a corticosteroid, Dhasolone that will help to reduce the swelling. I hope the swelling will go down by tomorrow if not I have to go to work with a mask on.
Insects really love me, don't they?
Insects really love me, don't they?
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Cellulitis!
I have Cellulitis and it's all because I sat on a rattan sofa somewhere in Little India. FML. It's really bad. I'll just put up the pictures to remind myself in the future 1) NOT TO SIT ON ANY RATTAN CHAIR. EVEN IF I SIT ON A RATTAN CHAIR, I'LL MAKE SURE NONE OF MY SKIN IS TOUCHING THE RATTAN 2) DO NOT EAT ANY OTHER SEAFOOD BESIDE CRABS, PRAWNS, SOTONGS AND FISH. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU HAVE SOME RASH ON YOUR BODY.
I got bitten by the insect hiding in the rattan chair on Sunday afternoon. By Monday morning (27th February 2012), there was a reddish patch on the skin of my left lateral malleolus about 15cm(?) in size and another patch on the underside of my left upper arm.
So I went to see one of the doctors that was on duty that day (oh the perks of working in a healthcare environment), she noted that since it was warm, I should put cold compress on it. She prescribed Augmentin (antibiotics) and Cetrizine aka Zyrtec (antihistamines). Told me to stop scratching the affected area too. Oops. Well, I did scratch the area before. A little too zealously, I might add. But it's so nice to scratch an itchy area. My face will be like the Internet meme below
Honestly I do not like this Internet meme at all. So ugly but I guess it depicts satisfaction or something. That feeling you get when you scratched an itchy spot or when you dig your ears or when you went to pee after holding your bladder for three hours or something.
Anyway, back to my story, so the doc gave me a half-day medical leave too but yours truly didn't go home straightaway. I went to fulfill my craving for Korean food first. I mean, c'mon, it was just a reddish patch (or so I thought). It's not like I was really sick like that time in January. I can still walk. I felt fine. So off I went to satisfy my gluttony lalala. On the way back home in the bus, I felt asleep and hit my head 4 times against the window much to the amusement of the people sitting behind me (I heard them laughing at me...) I forced myself awake and that's when I realised my eyes have that puffy sensation to them which instantly made me go, "Shucks...I am allergic to the antibiotics?" Fortunately, the puffiness went off after awhile and I reached home and slept from 5pm to 9pm. Woke up with a throbbing on the patch on my leg but it was still ok so I wasn't too worried.
Then the next morning (28th February 2012), the throbbing has turned into a dull, throbbing pain but I can still walk without any noticeable limp. I took a photo of my leg before I left for work-
Ohwee...it has turned into a nice shade of purple. I went to see another doctor since it was becoming painful. She gave me a cream to apply. I was thinking that maybe I can take a half-day off again on that afternoon cause it was beginning to hurt but as it turned out, that Tuesday, there was a bunch of Filipinos who came for their medical checkups and I have to do all 20++ of them on my own, with me limping my way through all the xrays. That was only in the morning. By the time I went for my lunch, my ankle has become so swollen and the pain was so unbearable that I cried in the mammo room knowing that there is another bunch of them coming in the afternoon. Oh. Em. Gee. Anyway, here's a picture of my leg taken at 2.07pm on 28th February 2012.
Inflamed! And swollen! Because I was running around instead of resting my foot. The doctor who saw me in the morning came around in the afternoon to see me again and since I wasn't able to rest my foot and keep it elevated, she advised me to apply light pressure on the foot i.e. bandaged it up. Well, it did help me to move easier when I was doing the patients in the afternoon. I wasn't hobbling that much though it still hurts though. Oh it seems that keeping my foot up doesn't help; it's making my foot hurt even more.
I was still taking the Augmentin religiously but actually, I visited my GP that night with my foot all bandaged up-
He told me there wasn't a need for me to bandage my foot up cause it doesn't have any effect on my foot. You don't say, Doc. Anyway, I asked for a jab. He gave a jab. I forgot the name of the jab. I felt nothing after that. So yeah, whatever he gave me has no effect at all (Give me back my $13.50!!). But really, I was just there for the MC but too bad, I could not even take MC the next day cause of another bunch of people who came for their medical checkups. Seriously. The amount of sacrifice a Singaporean gotta do to help Foreign Talents get their Employment Passes so that they can work in Singapore. Oh what an irony! Or shame! Or stupid sacrifice. Or whatever. Nobody's going to sympathise with me so I should stop wallowing in self-pity.
So anyway, the resident Doctor who happened to visit the washroom came by and I showed her my ankle and the next day (29th February 2012), she gave me another painkiller to take. It's Cephalexin and I have to take it every 6 hours. So far, my ankle doesn't hurt anymore. It is still looks grotesque and icky and the left foot has swell up pretty big. I don't know whether it's because I was running around and not resting or because I am wearing those cheap Birkenstock-like sandals in which the straps are constantly pushing through my foot so it's making the blood circulation flow go wonky or it's because of the new antibiotics.
But in any case, I just want to be healthy again :( You never really appreciate your limbs until you are one limb down.
Anyway, I wonder whether it was because of something I ate that causes my foot to become like this. But if that is the case, why is it that only the patch on my foot is affected and the one on my arm is not? The one on the arm is healing pretty nicely.
Oh well, I just hope the antibiotics will do its work. I don't wanna stay in hospital and get antibiotics through IV drip. No fun. I'm just going to do a picture collage to help me get a better idea of how 'pretty' my foot looks like through this episode of Cellulitis. There's always a silver lining in every dark cloud so I'm keeping my hopes up. However, there are paranoid scenes playing at the back of my head....Well, I shall not go there.
I got bitten by the insect hiding in the rattan chair on Sunday afternoon. By Monday morning (27th February 2012), there was a reddish patch on the skin of my left lateral malleolus about 15cm(?) in size and another patch on the underside of my left upper arm.
So I went to see one of the doctors that was on duty that day (oh the perks of working in a healthcare environment), she noted that since it was warm, I should put cold compress on it. She prescribed Augmentin (antibiotics) and Cetrizine aka Zyrtec (antihistamines). Told me to stop scratching the affected area too. Oops. Well, I did scratch the area before. A little too zealously, I might add. But it's so nice to scratch an itchy area. My face will be like the Internet meme below
Honestly I do not like this Internet meme at all. So ugly but I guess it depicts satisfaction or something. That feeling you get when you scratched an itchy spot or when you dig your ears or when you went to pee after holding your bladder for three hours or something.
Anyway, back to my story, so the doc gave me a half-day medical leave too but yours truly didn't go home straightaway. I went to fulfill my craving for Korean food first. I mean, c'mon, it was just a reddish patch (or so I thought). It's not like I was really sick like that time in January. I can still walk. I felt fine. So off I went to satisfy my gluttony lalala. On the way back home in the bus, I felt asleep and hit my head 4 times against the window much to the amusement of the people sitting behind me (I heard them laughing at me...) I forced myself awake and that's when I realised my eyes have that puffy sensation to them which instantly made me go, "Shucks...I am allergic to the antibiotics?" Fortunately, the puffiness went off after awhile and I reached home and slept from 5pm to 9pm. Woke up with a throbbing on the patch on my leg but it was still ok so I wasn't too worried.
Then the next morning (28th February 2012), the throbbing has turned into a dull, throbbing pain but I can still walk without any noticeable limp. I took a photo of my leg before I left for work-
Ohwee...it has turned into a nice shade of purple. I went to see another doctor since it was becoming painful. She gave me a cream to apply. I was thinking that maybe I can take a half-day off again on that afternoon cause it was beginning to hurt but as it turned out, that Tuesday, there was a bunch of Filipinos who came for their medical checkups and I have to do all 20++ of them on my own, with me limping my way through all the xrays. That was only in the morning. By the time I went for my lunch, my ankle has become so swollen and the pain was so unbearable that I cried in the mammo room knowing that there is another bunch of them coming in the afternoon. Oh. Em. Gee. Anyway, here's a picture of my leg taken at 2.07pm on 28th February 2012.
Inflamed! And swollen! Because I was running around instead of resting my foot. The doctor who saw me in the morning came around in the afternoon to see me again and since I wasn't able to rest my foot and keep it elevated, she advised me to apply light pressure on the foot i.e. bandaged it up. Well, it did help me to move easier when I was doing the patients in the afternoon. I wasn't hobbling that much though it still hurts though. Oh it seems that keeping my foot up doesn't help; it's making my foot hurt even more.
I was still taking the Augmentin religiously but actually, I visited my GP that night with my foot all bandaged up-
He told me there wasn't a need for me to bandage my foot up cause it doesn't have any effect on my foot. You don't say, Doc. Anyway, I asked for a jab. He gave a jab. I forgot the name of the jab. I felt nothing after that. So yeah, whatever he gave me has no effect at all (Give me back my $13.50!!). But really, I was just there for the MC but too bad, I could not even take MC the next day cause of another bunch of people who came for their medical checkups. Seriously. The amount of sacrifice a Singaporean gotta do to help Foreign Talents get their Employment Passes so that they can work in Singapore. Oh what an irony! Or shame! Or stupid sacrifice. Or whatever. Nobody's going to sympathise with me so I should stop wallowing in self-pity.
So anyway, the resident Doctor who happened to visit the washroom came by and I showed her my ankle and the next day (29th February 2012), she gave me another painkiller to take. It's Cephalexin and I have to take it every 6 hours. So far, my ankle doesn't hurt anymore. It is still looks grotesque and icky and the left foot has swell up pretty big. I don't know whether it's because I was running around and not resting or because I am wearing those cheap Birkenstock-like sandals in which the straps are constantly pushing through my foot so it's making the blood circulation flow go wonky or it's because of the new antibiotics.
But in any case, I just want to be healthy again :( You never really appreciate your limbs until you are one limb down.
Anyway, I wonder whether it was because of something I ate that causes my foot to become like this. But if that is the case, why is it that only the patch on my foot is affected and the one on my arm is not? The one on the arm is healing pretty nicely.
Oh well, I just hope the antibiotics will do its work. I don't wanna stay in hospital and get antibiotics through IV drip. No fun. I'm just going to do a picture collage to help me get a better idea of how 'pretty' my foot looks like through this episode of Cellulitis. There's always a silver lining in every dark cloud so I'm keeping my hopes up. However, there are paranoid scenes playing at the back of my head....Well, I shall not go there.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Lesson learnt #1
No guy is worth your tears if you are going to cry alone in the dark. He will never know that you are crying for him anyway. Although he should be thankful that somewhere out there, in the dark, at night, there is girl stupid enough to cry alone because of him.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Horrible feeling
Seriously, even though the pay is good, I really don't like this miserable feeling that I get everytime during work. I think it makes no difference even if I changed workplace cause I am just going to experience the same thing. But time is running out. I have until July to think things through. But I don't have any clue what to do after July. Stay and be miserable? Leave and be a little less miserable? 10 years on and I am still feeling like this. I am pathetic.
Me trying to be deep
I think for as long as I live, I can never understand the logic behind doing something for the sake of doing something. There are times that I do that too. Like studying for the sake of studying, going to school for the sake of going to school and the likes. But when it comes to the matter of the heart, I guess I haven't change much since primary school days or since the time when I finally have a little inkling about what love is all about. Is it cynicism?
Sunrise over Yew Tee canal
Looks nice huh? I think if I really look hard enough, there are a lot more places in Singapore where you can find such scenic places. This one is taken from the MRT train heading towards Jurong East and this is the canal that separates Sungei Kadut Industrial Area and the residential area of Yew Tee.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Empty as an eyesocket
I really don't like this empty feeling. It's empty as my empty eye socket that I dreamed about two days ago.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Heavy feeling in my heart
I have this heavy feeling in my heart and I think it's something to do with work just now. You know, I really wanted nothing to happen so that I can enjoy the CNY holidays but the heavy feeling has been with me since just now. Maybe I'll be fine tomorrow. Maybe I won't. But I'll live with it and I will face up to whatever that awaits me the coming Wednesday.
I wonder whether anyone would think that I am getting too big in the head because of a few comments that I have received. Maybe. Although I rather have people commenting about my work than commenting about how I go about in doing the work. Service can be fake but the results produced will show otherwise.
July will come soon. Ok so...in 6 months time...but still I am giving it some thoughts now. To go or not? But if I do go, where to?
Sometimes I just wish I can put my head down on the table, close my eyes and just let the world goes by.
I wonder whether anyone would think that I am getting too big in the head because of a few comments that I have received. Maybe. Although I rather have people commenting about my work than commenting about how I go about in doing the work. Service can be fake but the results produced will show otherwise.
July will come soon. Ok so...in 6 months time...but still I am giving it some thoughts now. To go or not? But if I do go, where to?
Sometimes I just wish I can put my head down on the table, close my eyes and just let the world goes by.
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